About six months ago, we tried to encourage Kiran to try using the toilet whenever we could. He showed no interest whatsoever. With the baby coming, we then decided to leave the potty training until the summer break, and just pray that he would take to it very quickly. (Kiran will begin attending a new preschool in January 2009, at which he will need to be potty trained.)

Then about 3 weeks ago, Kiran’s kindy teacher suggested we simply put him in undies, send him to kindy and tell him that nappies are no longer an option. So we did that, and… Eureka! Within 2 days, Kiran was weeing and pooing in the toilet without a single accident!

After the arduous struggle to get Jahan toilet trained, we are truly amazed at how quickly and effectively Kiran has taken to toilet training. In fact, despite wearing nappies to bed at night, he even wakes up at daybreak to ask to be taken to the toilet - something Jahan is still to achieve…

I should start by saying that the supplementing of breastmilk with formula has been working very well so far. For better or for worse, Lachlan has taken very nicely to the formula, and is feeding and sleeping happily.

The down side, predictably, is that my breastmilk supply has steadily deteriorated over the last couple of weeks. So after having invested very large quantities of money in electric breast pumps, breast feeding pillows and other implements which claim to increase your efficiency, I have had to make the sad decision to give up on the breast. It’s not much of a decision, really - I no longer have any milk to speak of, so it appears a foregone conclusion. **Sigh**. But I think I’m ok with it, now that it is clear that Lachlan is thriving on the bottle. He has already manage to resist the dreaded lurgy brought home by Kiran earlier this month, and according to the paediatrician, should have his own immunity built up by 8 weeks. It also means I can say goodbye to swollen breasts, raging appetites, and other such demands on my body. Selfish as that sounds, I need something positive to cling to given the outcome!!

After both an emotionally and physically gruelling week of struggling with breastfeeding, I have finally decided to supplement with formula. This has been a very difficult decision as Lachlan is barely 2 weeks old and I would not ideally have chosen to introduce formula this early. But the decision was compounded by the fact that his appetite seems to have spiked significantly in the last couple of days. I have found myself desperate and delirious from agonizing hourly feeds which reduced me to a screaming heap, and frustrated Lachlan due to the difficulty attaching and the premature depeletion of my breastmilk. I just couldn’t manage it anymore, and in the end, I had to do what was necessary to keep Lachlan well fed and satisfied.

I can’t say that breastfeeding has ever been a walk in the park for me. However, in contrast to my determination to persist with it for both Jahan and Kiran, this time around I just didn’t have the emotional resilience. Perhaps having two older kids to manage, both of whom I was neglecting terribly while bumbling around with breastfeeds, reduced my capacity to persist. Whatever the case, I have made the decision and am sticking to it. I will continue to pump breastmilk to allow myself to heal and to maintain my current supply. It remains to be seen how long it will last.

This morning I gave in and opted to visit a Lactation Consultant for assistance with attaching. My nipples are red and raw and the pain of attachment is truly excruciating. The consultant gave me a number of pointers and in concept, I understand the technique required. However, I am still all thumbs with attaching and during some feeds I am ready to tear my hair out. I find myself close to tears - especially during the night feeds when I am tired and emotional. Sometimes it takes me literally a dozen a attempts to attach Lachlan in a fashion that is less that agonizingly painful. I can only pray that practice makes perfect, because they way I feel now, I am not sure how much longer I can bear this…

We have now been home from hospital for 3 days. Integrating Lachlan into the our existing family routine has not been particularly difficult (so far) as he eats and sleeps and doesn’t really complain. I am still getting used to waking up at night for feeds as Lachlan becomes more alert everyday, going for shorter periods between feeds. Feeding is still very painful (probably moreso than when I was heavily drugged up in hospital!) and is definitely going to take some work.

Integrating the older boys into Lachlan’s routine has probably been the more challenging process. Although both boys are very gentle with the baby and are clearly excited about having a new brother, I don’t think I am imagining it when I say they suddenly seem very LOUD. Very loud. Perhaps they were always pretty loud and we just didn’t notice it until there was a sleeping baby in the house. However, I do think there is a definite element of attention-seeking loudness coming into play.

We have already had to institute star charts for inappropriate yelling. Let’s see how that works.

Lachlan Micah McLeod was born on Wednesday 22nd October 2008 at 6.33 am. He measured 3.275 kg and about 49cm in length with a head circumference of 34 cm.

The contractions probaby started around 9.30 pm on Tuesday evening. At first I wasn’t sure they were contractions. I”d had such bad cramps and abdominat pains throughout this pregnancy, that it was difficult to recognize the odd constriction of the uterus as anything significant. Once this was established, Mum arrived at 11.30 to stay with the kids. Meanwhile, I climbed into bed and waited for the contractions to become regular. By 1.30 they were still irregular and sporadic, but had become painful enough to warrant the hospital trip.

By 2 am, Duncan and I were “comfortably” ensconced in the delivery suite of the Sydney Adventist Hospital where I had given birth to Jahan and Kiran. My platelet count was checked (as it had been low enough through the pregnancy to threaten my chances of receiving an epidural). Thank God the platelet levels came back normal, and by 2.45 I was receiving the epidural from the visiting anaesthetist. The experience was more unpleasant than I remembered - I had forgotten how intensely uncomfortable it was to feel the stinging gush of warm anaesthetic into the spine and abdomen. But I coped, and by 3.30 am I was comfortably numb.

At 6.20 or so, the obstetrician declared that I was fully dilated, and it took only about 8 minutes to push out my new little sprog.

Despite my definite state of readiness for our new addition, unfortunately the bub is still not showing any signs of making an appearance. It is definitely descending further into the pelvic region everyday, however, which has exacerbated my sciatica and is making it virtually impossible for me to drive, squat or climb stairs. This in turn makes it very difficult for me to spend any quality time with the kids, leave the house or even complete basic household tasks. So suffice it to say we are all very eagerly looking forward to welcoming the new little mister.

I am currently booked in for an induction of labour on Saturday morning. I still have my fingers crossed that it won’t need to come to that.

Last weekend we bought a spare freezer. Shortly thereafter I achieved the mammoth task of cooking 8 large vats of food to freeze for after the baby comes. The last coat of paint will go on the nursery feature wall tomorrow morning. The nursery cupboard has been cleared to allow room for the large load of baby clothes I have just pre-washed for bub. The hospital bag is packed and ready. I have tidied the office, the boys’ room and the downstairs cupboards.

I think I can safely say that I now feel quite ready for bub to arrive. BOY, am I ready. I am tired and bored from not being able to do much, and every muscle in my body aches. For whatever it is worth, I’m sure it will be a relief to convert these feelings of frustrated exhaustion to elated exhaustion.

Just playing the waiting game.

I don’t know what happens to little boys’ brains when you put two 5 year olds in the same room together, but it obviously involves a momentary lack of sanity. A couple of days ago, Jahan had a friend around to play. While they were upstairs, one of them happened to have the bright idea of crawling under the bed and drawing all over the (new, white) carpet and wall with crayons! And we’re not talking about a few smears here and there - we’re talking about a 1m by 1m area, decorated with multicoloured works of art. This was a deliberate and protracted act on both their parts.

What were they thinking?!?!?!? It just seems unfathomable to me that either of them would have thought this lark was acceptable on any level!

Now what followed, was equally unfathomable to me. Although it appeared the boys came to their senses shortly after committing the act, neither Jahan nor his partner in crime said anything about it in the hours that followed. It was purely by accident that Duncan discovered the crime scene and confronted Jahan just before bedtime. At that point, Jahan’s immediate response was disappointing. Blame was thrown in all directions, and at one point, there was even a categorical denial that he had anything to do with it. (Fortunately he’s not very good at lying, and it was fairly clear from the outset that it was a joint effort).

The next morning, after I had given myself enough time to get over the shock, the anger and the disappointment, we discussed with Jahan his punishment for the crime. (I must say here, that I don’t think I have ever been as angry or as disappointed in Jahan in five years as I was in this instance). We talked to Jahan about what he did and why he did it (he had no answer to that question). We told Jahan that we were angry that he had done something that he already knew was unacceptable to us. We told him that we would have been less angry if he had come downstairs and told us about it when he realised he had done the wrong thing. We explained that everyone makes mistakes sometimes but it was important to tell the truth afterwards. And we explained that we were particularly disappointed that he had denied having done it when asked.

Jahan’s punishment in this instance was to have all treats withheld (no dessert, biscuits or sweet treats) for a whole week. The success of this plan was tested very early when he was not allowed dessert at the family Father’s Day lunch… There were a few tears and tantrums, but we stood our ground. We have decided to reassess the punishment in a couple of days, but for the moment, we remain committed to our first real attempt at doling out a punishment which lasted more than a day.

As for Jahan, the experience already seems to be hitting home. He quite openly chatted to his grandparents about his one week chastisement - possibly even with a little pride?! I suppose he sees it as a rite of passage is some ways…